House Approves New Fines For Energy Companies That You Will Pay

The House of Representatives has approved fines up to $150,000,000 for energy companies that are found to price gouge. Rep. Heather Wilson (R), chief sponsor of the legislation, said of consumers of energy, "Maybe this will shut 'em up." Despite the fact that this will not bring down gas prices, Congress went home that night feeling good about themselves. President of ExxonMobil, R.W Tillerson said of the new fines, "Heather Wilson can kiss my pimply white ass where the Taco Bell squirts!"




THIS IS THE STORY OF THE NEW FINES

Pictured: R.W. Tillerson (That's his real name.)